Grief nearly broke her—until the Qur’an rebuilt her
The true story of a young woman who honoured her mother’s dying wish—by memorising the Qur’an through loss, struggle, and surrender. - Issue #157
Bismillāh al-Rahmān al-Rahīm
Assalāmu ‘Alaykum!
Today, I’m in the mood to tell you another motivating story. You need to read and share this one as far and wide as possible. And you might want to get some tissues.
The Qur’an is guidance, and guidance reaches people in many ways. One of those ways is a lifeline in the middle of a storm.
The story I am about to share is the story of Rudaina—a young woman who memorised the entire Qur’an.
But not from childhood.
Not in peace.
Not with ease.
Rather, she memorised in grief. In loss. In longing.
🧕🏽 Her Mother’s Voice: The First Spark
Rudaina’s journey began the way many of ours might—with short attempts and big gaps.
As a child, her mother—may Allah have mercy on her—sat with her to memorise Juz ‘Amma and parts of Tabarak. Her mother was the first to teacher Qur’an. But like many young girls, she stopped after a few surahs. The effort lacked rhythm, structure, and consistency.
She said: “We’d memorise a few ayahs, then stop for months. I wasn’t committed.”
Years passed.
She joined a group of friends trying to memorise Surah Maryam, but there was no follow-through. No real hifz system. Just scattered attempts.
Until one day—everything changed.
🔒 2020: Lockdown & A New Hifz Method
During the COVID-19 pandemic, a family member introduced her to something called the “Hisn” method—a structured memorisation system. You can read all about the method on the website.
She started with Surah Al-Baqarah, one of the longest and most challenging surahs.
For the first time, the Qur’an had a framework. It wasn’t just about memorising new ayahs, but about daily review, accountability, and systemised tracking.
She realised: What makes memorisation stick… is revision. Daily. With intention.
She memorised almost all of Al-Baqarah. Then three-quarters of Āl ‘Imrān.
But just as her pace picked up, the greatest test of her life arrived.
🖤 2021: The Will That Broke & Rebuilt Her
Her mother passed away.
At the start of her final year at university.
In a year already heavy with exams, assignments, and deadlines.
Her mother’s passing shattered her. It broke her. She said:
“After my mum passed away, I couldn’t hold the mushaf. I couldn’t open it without crying. It felt like she had taken the Qur’an with her.” She went through a period where she didn’t memorise at all, just read to soothe her grief.
But in that pain, she discovered something precious:
Her mother had left behind a wasiyyah (written will). And in it, these words stood out:
“Hold fast to the Qur’an.”
That single sentence redefined Rudaina’s life.
She vowed:
To complete her degree.
Then pause everything else—no job, no distractions.
And dedicate herself to memorising the Qur’an fully.
Like she says: “If you wait until you're emotionally ready, you’ll never start. Start broken.”
📖 Her New Path: Structure & Struggles
Post-graduation, Rudaina joined a Qur’an circle. This wasn’t a relaxed study group.
It was structured, serious, and spiritual.
Each session began not with rote recitation, but with tadabbur (reflection) on the verses they would memorise. This created not just intellectual engagement, but a deep emotional connection to the Qur’an.
She said: “Sometimes we’d pause on a single ayah for 30 minutes. Those were the verses that stayed with me the longest.” An ayah that struck her deeply was:
“And be patient, for indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
She said:
“I memorised that ayah in tears. It felt like it was revealed for me.”
But structure didn’t mean it was easy.
❗ Challenges She Faced:
Grief: Every page of the Qur’an reminded her of her mother’s absence.
Perfectionism: Falling behind in her group made her feel worthless.
Pressure: Family weddings, social obligations, and home responsibilities pulled her in all directions.
Loneliness: She often felt spiritually lost without her mother’s encouragement and presence.
She said:
“I used to measure myself against others. If I didn’t meet the target, I’d cry and think I’d failed.”
“Everyone was at ayah 250… I was stuck at 186.”
This led her to consider quitting multiple times, especially during emotionally heavy days.
Yet despite all of this, she didn’t quit!
💔 When the Qur’an Became Her Comforter
There were days when verses felt like direct messages from Allah.
A line of Qur’an would mirror her emotions—her sorrow, her self-doubt, her solitude.
She began to understand:
“The Qur’an doesn’t eliminate hardship…
But it gives you strength to walk through it.”
It was no longer about finishing.
It was about healing.
“Qur’an isn’t a finish line—it’s a mirror. You meet yourself in its verses. Sometimes the goal isn’t to reach Khatm. It’s to reach yourself through the Qur’an. Every page I memorised after my mum passed felt like a gift to her in her grave.”
📘 The Ma’idah Leap
Despite not having completed all earlier surahs in the circle, she bravely joined a group called the Surah Al-Ma’idah group.
Instead of waiting for the “perfect time,” she started catching up independently.
She confessed: “I didn’t deserve to be there. I still hadn’t finished Āl ‘Imrān. But I couldn’t let the journey stop again. I told myself, ‘Keep walking—even if you limp.’”
She filled the gaps.
Bit by bit.
Verse by verse.
Day by day.
She continued this journey for 2.5 to 3 years, excluding breaks for Ramadan and Eid.
🧠 What She Learned Along the Way
These were her golden lessons—words that could reshape anyone’s hifz journey:
Don’t make the Qur’an your second option.
When things get busy or hard, we put the Qur’an last. That’s when we need it most.
Sin affects memorisation.
The heart is the pen. Sins dry the ink.
Protect your hifz by protecting your heart.
Stay away from heedlessness, music, gossip. It all affects your spiritual memory.
Memorisation needs structure.
You can’t wing it. You need a system: repetition, review, a teacher, and goals. I’m working on this kind of framework for Hifz Camp.
Your environment matters.
Surround yourself with those who want the Qur’an the way you do.
🌹 Her Beautiful Reflections
“The Qur’an didn’t just give me ayahs to recite. It reformed me.”
“I found myself in the words I was memorising.”
“Even now, I feel my mother’s will is still alive… every time I open the mushaf.”
“The Qur’an was my sword. My shield. My rebirth.”
🛤 What Can You Take From Her Journey?
Start even if you're grieving, busy, imperfect.
Make salawat part of your routine—it increases barakah in memorisation.
Commit to a teacher or group that keeps you on track.
Keep a hifz journal: track mistakes, emotions, and personal reflections.
Most of all: ❝ Stay on the path, no matter how long it takes. ❞
📩 A Personal Invitation
What’s stopping you from picking up the Qur’an today?
What wasiyyah are you leaving behind?
If this story moved you, reply and share your reflections.
Or tell me: what's your biggest struggle in memorising Qur’an right now?
I’d love to hear from you.
BarakAllahu feekum always.
With love and du‘ā,
🤲 Requesting your prayers,
- Qāri’ Mubashir
📖 THE DIARY OF A HĀFIZ
This is where we try to learn by watching others memorise. A roundup reporting the progress of our brothers and sisters in their pursuit of memorising the Qur'ān:
👳🏼♂️ Muhammad
Background: After forgetting what he memorised (half the Qur'ān) and kept struggling to start again. So he decided to share his diary and mission with us. After 19 weeks of struggle, he finally started. It took him a few months to do a few Juz’. He’s 37 and has been the most consistent of our diaries despite continued struggles.
Year 2 Week 32:
“I have been revising through salah this week which has been interesting. I’ve restricted it to around 8 rakats where I recite out loud. So far so good with this. I started with Surah al-Baqarah and so far I have noticed myself making mistakes I normally wouldn’t but this is only making my revision stronger I feel. I would love to revise everything I know like this so I plan to keep going. As for Hifz, I need to start properly again from the 8th Juz’.”
🧕🏼 Aaliya
Background: I'm 28 and I started memorizing full time about 2 years ago. I have almost 17 Juz memorized Alhamdulillah. I go to a masjid hifz class everyday and I'm trying to increase my daily revision to 2-3 juz. I'm hoping recording weekly diaries will motivate me to be more consistent and inshAllah help others who read it too.
Week 34:
“This week, I fell short of my plan. I read 1 juz every other day, instead of daily. I didn't revise any new paras, but I revised 30th again.
Next week, I plan on returning to madersa and being more consistent with reading and revision.”
🧕🏼 Aisha
Background: I am a 36 yr old, mother of 6 kids. I memorised 20 juz in a madrasa but got married and although completed my hifz on my own , my revision was poor and I couldn't recite anything properly except for 5 or 6 juz. It's been 12 years of ups and downs trying to rememorise with little success. Alhamdulillah I found Qari Mubashir’s website that answered so many of my questions and took me out of self doubt, I discovered the tikrar program, downloaded the app and Alhamdulillah my path to rememorise has finally been made possible by the grace of Allah. I started on the 20th of June and so far have completed 8 juz , currently doing the 9th . I also gave my first test for juz 1 - 6 last month and passed it Alhamdulillah. I am looking forward to completing hifz, with a solid revision this time, bi iznillah.
Week 20 & 21:
“Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,
I had been busy during the Eid break , no new memorization yet.
I revised part of Surah Yusuf in the last few days and some ajza from my weekly portion for revision, with the kids new academic year starting and the Shawwal fasts I'm overwhelmed , struggling with time and energy.
I request everyone to pray that I get back on track inshallah.
Jazakumullahu khairan.”
👉 If you have any questions, just drop a reply to me and I'll feature the questions and answers in relevant issues. If you want to join the diaries, get in touch also!
Allāh grant us all success and ease on this path!
⭐ COMMUNITY HIGHLIGHTS & UPDATES
🚨 Hifz Tools, Website & Communities
Many of you gave feedback in the WhatsApp community, I’ve now proposed a new setup and direction for the groups which will be implemented over the coming weeks.
There are updates also taking place to the website and so there’s more to come!
And thank you to all those that have shared feedback on updated version of Qur’an Memorisation Tester.
O before I forget, those that want to try the memorisation method I mentioned in the chat, I haven’t forgotten, I’ll be in touch soon. In shā’ Allāh.
Your Turn!
💬 Reply & Tell Me: What’s your biggest struggle in Hifz right now? Reply to this email and let me know—I’ll feature your question in upcoming posts.
🚀 Keep going. Allah bless your journey and make every step easier than the last.
📌 Quick Feedback: How Did You Find This Post?
🔥 Reply & let me know what helped you most today.
🔥 Have a Hifz question? I’ll answer in next week’s post!
Um, not sure where should I write to you so I'm writing here. You asked what's you're biggest struggle, for me it's muraja'ah (revision). And I genuinely need help with it. With the number of juz I've memorized increasing, my worry of how to remember it all and not mix between surahs and all is also increasing. Do you have any suggestions?
Jazakallah khairan for sharing.